I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
