Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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