I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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