My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
