your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
