problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He shit in the fireplace
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
