you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
