This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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