We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
