Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize