So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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