I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
