i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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