That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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