i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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