dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
