Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
