so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i need some magic done to my vagina
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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