weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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