You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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