Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
