I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
