Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
