some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
