I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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