Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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