my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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