Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
where am i from again
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
try to milk me bitch
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