please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
