apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
