...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
