I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
