i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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