Will you blow on my dice?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
