I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
id be glad to
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
