I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
