Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I cannot find my penis.
too bad you live with your parents still
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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