i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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