I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
