...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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