Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
