Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
