it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
