i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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