Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
