Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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