real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
