chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So vagazzling was a success
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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