Where did you get a picture of my penis
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't deserve a penis
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
