Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
